Physical Abuse includes many forms including punching; pushing or shoving; pulling hair; slapping; kicking; twisting arms; being thrown against walls or furniture; choking; and being hit with objects or injured with weapons. Sexual
Abuse
includes
any
forced
and/or
unwanted
sexual
contact. Psychological / Emotional Abuse includes behaviour and comments which destroy your self-confidence and make you believe you are insane, useless or stupid. It is a type of “brainwashing” that makes you believe that everything that goes “wrong” is your fault. Social Abuse includes having to account constantly for everything you do; being stopped from mixing with family or friends; being put down in front of other people; being stopped from using the family car; and being denied the right to go to work and earn your own money. Financial Abuse includes not having a say in how the family income is spent; being refused money for family needs; being expected to live on impossibly small amounts of money; and being denied the right to keep money you have earned. Spiritual Abuse undermines your self-identity by behaviours such as criticising your spiritual beliefs; the quoting of religious texts to justify abusive behaviour; and abusing in ways that involve symbols of religion or spirituality. Damage to Property occurs when the house, household furniture, or anything else that you own or use is damaged or broken. This includes breaking a plate, kicking a hole in the wall, or damaging the car. The aim of all forms of domestic violence is to gain or maintain power and control over the other person. (Adapted from “Separation: A Legal Resource for Women” 4th ed, Sept 2000, Women’s Legal Service Inc)
Family violence consists of similar behaviours as domestic violence, except it involves abuse from one family member to another e.g. grandparents, grandchildren, aunties, uncles, nieces, nephews, siblings etc. The groups considered to be ‘family’ in family violence can be quite broad depending on your cultural background e.g. extended kinship networks in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities and some communities of Non-English Speaking Background.
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you have a problem with domestic violence. Domestic violence occurs when a couple’s relationship includes violence, threats and bullying; when the stronger partner uses his power to abuse and control the other person; or when physical, emotional and sexual abuse, or threats, intimidation and harassment are constantly present in a relationship. Most victims of domestic violence are women, although a small number of men suffer this type of violence. This may be either in a heterosexual or a same sex relationship. Men from all types of backgrounds are violent to their partners. The problem of domestic violence is not confined to any particular social or ethnic group. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS UNACCEPTABLE. There are no excuses for domestic or family violence. No-one should have to put up with violence in their own home. You do not have a right to assault, harass or control someone just because they are a member of your own family. DOMESTIC OR FAMILY VIOLENCE IS DESTRUCTIVE TO ALL THOSE AFFECTED INCLUDING THE VICTIM, THE CHILDREN AND THE ABUSER.
It’s
important
to
remember
that
violence
is
a
choice.
You
can
choose
to
continue
with
violent
or
abusive
behaviour.
If
this
is
your
choice
however,
you
will
have
to
accept
the
consequences
which
may
include: YOU CAN STOP THE VIOLENCE BY SEEKING HELP. Don’t wait to get help. Things will usually get worse for you, for your partner and for your children. Domestic violence rarely stops by itself. You may be quite sincere when you promise it will never happen again. Unfortunately most men who are violent to their partners or family find that they cannot keep these promises without support and assistance from others. Many men find that violence happens in a cycle and this cycle can be difficult to break. You may need professional help to end the violence and build a happier life. If you are a man who is using or has used violence and abuse in your relationships, then it is important to seek help. While many men feel ashamed and embarrassed about seeking help, it is important to change your situation and take responsibility for your violence. Admitting that you have a problem with violence is the first step to solving your problem. Only YOU can end the violence. Only YOU can control your own behaviour. See below (in “Where to go for help”) for a list of services that can assist you. (Adapted from “Is Your Family Living In Fear?” Produced by Department of Families, Youth and Community Care Queensland 1999. Information booklet.)
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What
is
Domestic
Violence?
Do
you
hit
or
physically
hurt
the
person
you
are
in
a
relationship
with?
a
partner
and
children
who
live
in
fear
of
you,
never
knowing
when
you
may
lash
out
again;
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here
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